If you’re not following me on Twitter then you’re missing out on such classic gems as:

"Surprised and disappointed to learn Eric Clapton hasn’t released an album called STRAIGHT OUTTA CLAPTON."

And

“Accidentally put the wrong shoe on the wrong foot and fell into deep self doubt.”

Don’t forget

"Isn’t it weird how we’re all constantly wearing potential sock puppets on our feet?"

And

"Movie idea #15739 : A Labrador gets a job at the Apple store and helps customers with their broken earphones. It’d be called "Ear Bud"."

Disclaimer: Tweets may lower IQ by 10 to 20 points. Read at your own risk. (It’s not like you were using those points for anything anyway)

Bonus round.

Tags: bbq sketches

Blorp

Tags: sketch

Is there a polite way to tell your own mother to stop making excuses and get a job because you feel more like a loan officer than a son?

humans-of-pdx:

"I don’t really like people, but it’s difficult to get comfortable with loneliness. I mean, I’ve tried to have friends, but it never works out. And I’m tired of going out alone. I’m ok staying in at my place. It smells good when I burn incense and I have a lot of records and I can just play video games.” The bus she was waiting for arrived. “Do you need to go?” "It’s ok. Another one will come in ten minutes… But then, you know, sometimes I just want a partner— a relationship. It would be nice to share this part of my life with someone. I’ve been single for years, and you know, there are people I could call if I wanted to. But people always end up saying things that rub me the wrong way, or if I open up to them, suddenly they want me to be their best friend, and I don’t want people to have expectations of me. I don’t want to waste anyone else’s time if I’m not interested in being close to them." Another bus came and went while she told me about the loneliness, wiping tears from her eyes. Then another. “I’m sorry, I’ve talked too long.” "It’s really ok. Sometimes we just need to connect." "Yeah, I forget that sometimes."

humans-of-pdx:


"I don’t really like people, but it’s difficult to get comfortable with loneliness. I mean, I’ve tried to have friends, but it never works out. And I’m tired of going out alone. I’m ok staying in at my place. It smells good when I burn incense and I have a lot of records and I can just play video games.” 

The bus she was waiting for arrived. “Do you need to go?” 

"It’s ok. Another one will come in ten minutes… But then, you know, sometimes I just want a partner— a relationship. It would be nice to share this part of my life with someone. I’ve been single for years, and you know, there are people I could call if I wanted to. But people always end up saying things that rub me the wrong way, or if I open up to them, suddenly they want me to be their best friend, and I don’t want people to have expectations of me. I don’t want to waste anyone else’s time if I’m not interested in being close to them." 

Another bus came and went while she told me about the loneliness, wiping tears from her eyes. Then another. “I’m sorry, I’ve talked too long.” 

"It’s really ok. Sometimes we just need to connect." 

"Yeah, I forget that sometimes."

Spent the day watching a Simpsons marathon and playing Mariokart. It was like I was ten again, but with an acute sense of existential loneliness and a greater awareness of my own mortality..

Tags: adulthood

More stuff that only hermits have time to do.

Saturday’s Transgressions

Today I stayed in all day. For someone who grew up in a Californian desert I have a surprisingly low tolerance for the weather. I’d rather turn the air conditioner up to eleven and close the blinds than endure even a single ray of summer heat. Dark and cold is the way I like it, like all self-respecting hermits do.

As far as noteworthy events, I cut my hair (from 1/2 an inch to 1/3 an inch) showered, and had cereal, two pop tarts and a breakfast bar. Watched a few movies; Aladdin, Robbin Hood, The Great Muppet Caper, an episode of Frontline about the Vatican, and the 1967 movie adaptation of James Joyce’s Ulysses. All recommendable.

I did some animating and some drawing, succeeding in disappointing myself at both. It’s 10:05pm now and I’m just realizing I haven’t eaten since breakfast, besides a few cookies and half a tube of Pringles. Strangely I’m not even hungry, but that’s probably not a good thing. I’ll go find something so I don’t pass out suddenly.

Another animation I’ll forget to finish.

Some last weekend sketches.